Sunday, July 22, 2012

The Waiting Place

It has been almost a year since my last post and so I will recap what has happened:

1. We returned to the states from our year abroad and moved into Stephen and Rachel's basement (it is so much better than a basement because it's actually two stories above the ground and has incredible 360° views of the mountains).
2. Ezra started kindergarten and loved it.
3. Eli started preschool and did not like being separated from Mommy so we quit after two weeks.
4. Ezra turned 6 and lost two teeth and Eli turned 4.
5. Finn, our third boy, was born in January.
6. David finished his MPA at BYU in April.

And now we are waiting - waiting to find out what job we'll get, where we'll live, and when it all will happen. We have been working really hard applying for jobs even though it's basically complete torture, especially in this economy. And we've been working hard to stay on our game spiritually so that we can qualify for the Lord's help and guidance during such a pivotal time. And you would think that it would be wonderful having so much time together as a family, living in such a beautiful place, enjoying healthy bodies and temporal blessings like a roof over our head (thank you Stephen and Rachel!!) and a car. And while I am so grateful for all those things, it's hard not to wake up with a pit in my stomach every morning, wondering what is going to happen to us, when will we find a job, and basically, how long we can last like this. It's like being stranded on a deserted tropical island. It's so gorgeous - it looks just like the images in postcards and desktop wallpaper that office workers put up to escape from monotonous work. But it's only fun if you have the right provisions. This "vacation" would be so much less miserable if we knew it was temporary. Obviously we struggle to find peace with our situation, to have faith that things will work out, and to just be grateful and happy. I constantly fluctuate between being motivated and faithful to frustrated and worried.

We fed the chickens and watered the garden and then Ezra wanted to jump on the trampoline. David came out with Finn and we all ended up together and Ezra was so happy. He jumped so high and yelled, "family time!" with a huge smile on his face. Then Eli wanted to show off how he could jump off a high rock. It took a few minutes for him to gain the courage and let go of my hand but then he did it and was so proud of himself. He was squeezing my hand very hard and then when he finally gathered up enough courage, he yelled, "okay let go!"


Peggy said...

What a wonderful picture of David and the three boys. It actually looks like they're lying on wet sand on an ocean beach. Safe and snug in a beautiful but stark world.

Peggy said...

So proud of Eli for "taking the leap"!

Marissa said...

So good to have you back in the blogging world! I've missed your updates and wondered how you were doing. It must be hard to be stuck in the waiting place, but hopefully all will work itself out soon. Don't discount looking for something in Kentucky!! You have such a sweet family!!!

Julia said...

Jade, reading your post took me back a few years ago when we were in a very similar situation. Cameron had finished his master's and was spend 3-4 hours a night sending out resumes and searching jobs. Although he did have a job it wasn't even close to the career he had studied. So, after 6 months of painful patience he was offered a job that was beyond what he could of dreamed for himself and for our family. I know that it is hard but, I know it will work out for you and your little family. Looking back you will remember all that you learned from this time. Hang in there Jade and family!

Jade said...

Thank you so much for your kind comments! Marissa - we have broadened our search to pretty much the entire world so Kentucky is a possibility :) Julia, it's so nice to hear stories like that. Right now I just finished stuffing four chocolate peanut butter cookies into my face. David asked me why I did that and I said because I didn't have anything else to look forward to. I have received so many confirmations that things will work out for us and that David will find a good job, but I still struggle with fear and frustration. I think maybe Heavenly Father is waiting for me to get a better attitude before He can bless our family with a job. Anyway, thanks again for your kind comments and reassurances. It helps to know people have been here before and that it won't last forever.

Chelsea said...

Jade, I'm so glad you finally posted! Come on, Girl! Keep it up. And yes, it is very temporary and things will all work out just like they are supposed to. I just know David is going to find the perfect job for him and that there is a plan for your family that will make you guys so happy. Julia's story is so right on!